Elevator pitch for my story! If you saw this on the back of a book, would you read it? (4/4) 

@jectoons Ah should have clarified, it is the readers age, not the characters. but I'm definitely one of those people who would prefer to read someone their own age.

Elevator pitch for my story! If you saw this on the back of a book, would you read it? (4/4) 

@jectoons True, I never thought about it. Wikipedia says YA is for 12-18, but apparently New Adult is becoming a thing.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_ad

Elevator pitch for my story! If you saw this on the back of a book, would you read it? (4/4) 

@jectoons Glad to hear it!

Though I'm not sure it counts as YA if the protagonists are in their twenties lol

Elevator pitch for my story! If you saw this on the back of a book, would you read it? (1/4) 

@cheribaker Thank you for both the kind words and the feedback! I guess I did write it off of "agent-soliciting" instructions instead of back of book instructions, but either way it definitely needs some cutting. Also very helpful to think of it from a more "enticement" angle. That does make this process make a lot more sense.

Elevator pitch for my story! If you saw this on the back of a book, would you read it? (4/4) 

@lj Again, really glad to hear it sounds interesting to you. Unfortunately I think I'm not quite the target market for your pitch (high concept sci-fi reader, despite being a character driven pseudo-sci-fi writer, for some reason) but I think some more specifics about the kind of struggle the characters will face would help be connect a little more. But also clearly I have problems with brevity lol.

Elevator pitch for my story! If you saw this on the back of a book, would you read it? (4/4) 

@lj @lj Great suggestions! Thank you so much! I think they really match with my intuition that the first part is not as interesting or important, but I was really hesitant to cut them as I thought the exposition was necessary... I might try to finagle some mention of the weird super natural stuff bc I think it's part of the stuff that makes the book unique!

Pitching, secret 6/4 

...also come to terms with how that will always affect me. It’s a very special story to me, so I’m hoping others will see that too.'

Show thread

Pitching, secret 5/4 

I was also thinking about including this in my query letters. Lots of agents are talking about wanting to do better LGBT representation, and this book is pretty close to my heart for very trans reasons, but I dunno if it's a bit much.

'EMPATH&AUGUR was written before I “came out” to myself, and revised and edited in during the still ongoing process of my transition. In it, I see reflected my own struggles to grow beyond the gender I was assigned at birth, but...

Show thread

Elevator pitch for my story! If you saw this on the back of a book, would you read it? (4/4) 

comes to terms with his own destiny, as the Augur."

Any comments very appreciated! It's literally impossible to be nit-pickier than process of querying, so don't hesitate :P

Show thread

Elevator pitch for my story! If you saw this on the back of a book, would you read it? (3/4) 

she feels every hurt she inflicts. But to Sebastian, she is kind. She makes him feel human when everyone else sees him as a prize. And while she could set him free, Erika has long since lost any hope for her own freedom, or even personhood.

To gain his freedom, Sebastian must convince her that she deserves her own. But in doing so, he may cause the very future he was trying to prevent--unless he

Show thread

Elevator pitch for my story! If you saw this on the back of a book, would you read it? (2/4) 

however, only wants to go back to his life before he became embroiled in the supernatural.

But his attempts to for freedom himself will only entangle him further: The Heart of the Monoculture is hungry for human minds to grow its ecology; the Scales of Maat craves unhappy hearts to sate its lust for justice; and, of course, there is Erika.

Erika is a cult mercenary---spying and killing, even as

Show thread

Elevator pitch for my story! If you saw this on the back of a book, would you read it? (1/4) 

Following in LJ's lead, here's the elevator pitch for my story!

"Sebastian is the Augur, coveted for his prophecies. Erika, the Empath, is his friend, his jailer, and his only way out.

Freshly rescued, Sebastian finds himself captured again. His new captors are a cult, seeking to use his prophecies, inscribed as wounds onto his back, to bring about a single-shared human consciousness. Sebastian,

Would you be enticed if you saw this on the back cover of a book? 

Following in LJ's lead, here's the elevator pitch for my story!

"Sebastian is the Augur, coveted for his prophecies. Erika, the Empath, is his friend, his jailer, and his only way out.

Freshly rescued, Sebastian finds himself captured again. His new captors are a cult, seeking to use his prophecies, inscribed as wounds onto his back, to bring about a single-shared human consciousness. Sebastian, however, only wants... (1/3)

@lj That's true! I guess it was unclear to me whether this is the usual outcome of multiverse travel or something unexpected. Maybe "after her first foray...she is abandoned..., cleaved from her family, and adrift..." might be better? I think it skims some words for the word count too.

@lj Lmao. Coincidentally I'm literally also bashing my head against my query letter / elevator pitch stuff at the moment.

Rereading your pitch again, I'm started thinking that maybe it'd benefit from a more uneven-level of detail--ie, say more about the first charcter and little less about the second and third? I have a feeling there's some interesting details in "disastrous first foray" that might entice some more people too.

@ljwrites It gets too emotionally intense if I pay attention to the other person, haha. A lot of the heaviest conversations with my partner have been had while I've been "playing" (ie running around in circles) videogames.

@lj The second one is much better!

I like the specificity of the character descriptions--I wonder if it's possible to bring more if it into the second half ("Three strangers.." on)? I know word count is pretty tight for these things though. And I'd definitely favor the way you'd have it set up now if you had to pick.

what to do with the exposition in dialog-heavy bits.

I uploaded the scene if you wanted to check it out, though read the CWs first:

nebulos.space/e&a_act3_diner.h (2/2)

Show thread

I noticed I do this thing where when the characters are having an emotionally heavy conversation and I'll start describing some background element in inappropriate levels of detail.

My beta readers were both like "is this a metaphor? this feels like a metaphor" but now that I've done it again in another book I'm like...oh wait, no, this is because this is how /I/ deal with emotionally heavy conversations, lmao.

So maybe it'll work for you if you also don't really know... (1/2)

Show older
ComicsCamp.Club

A friendly home in the Fediverse for creators and lovers of comics and narrative art of all sorts.